For a few years now I’ve been having a certain difficulty writing stuff for this blog.
It’s not like “back in the day”: I just didn’t went through the trouble of sitting down to write anything. It wasn’t lack of things to talk about: I just didn’t care. With everything going on with me during those days (and it was a lot), I would have plenty to write about here.
But I don’t know, I just didn’t look at stuff and go, “hmm, that would make a nice post”. That thought just didn’t cross my mind.
But lately there is plenty of stuff I want to write about. Things I see or think during the day and go, “hmm, that would make a nice post”. In the stream of thoughts inside my head, it makes sense. It makes SO MUCH sense, actually, that I don’t even need to put it into words.
There are some wonderful texts there. Deep, eloquent. But none of that is concrete, because when I sit down to actually write, things just… don’t flow. I can’t translate things into sentences that make sense – or, even worse, I can but they are not publishable. Not that there’s cursing or things like that – I have never had trouble cursing here. Shit, fuck, and so on.
By the way, in this very moment. I’ve just spent about ten minutes staring at the wall, thinking how it would be cool to write a piece about how curse words should be considered actual curses based on who’s hearing them – calling someone “gay” could be flattering to a human being, or a curse to a homophobe, for example. But I digress.
It doesn’t help either when most topic I consider writing about are important (to me at least) and therefore I can’t bring myself to just publish anything (the one about curse words doesn’t cound, I think).
It wasn’t supposed to be like this: when I was a teenager I was pretty good at writing essays; good enough to have a couple of texts published. But I think the lack of practice over the years chipped away at that skill of mine. I should get a writing course or something, to give me some cool writing prompts, so I could actually practice without the need to pick a topic (I really suck at that).
But of course I already have about fifteen million things to do, which I can barely handle already, but I’m just dumb and keep collecting things to do, as if my day had 48 hours…
Leave a Reply